I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
