he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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