I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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