i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
