would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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