Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
