could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am naked and annoyed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
