Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
