I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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