i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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