Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize