Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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