Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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