she woke up with a sticky ear
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
