hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
