Im at strip club and am horny
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
