woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
