I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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