i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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