i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
