I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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