saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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