OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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