you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
