apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
