You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
