I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
