I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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