He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
