If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
