This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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