i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
