True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize