One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
