quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I looked at my own cervix.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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