How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
