just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
