1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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