i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
