listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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