I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
