hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I look better un-naked...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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