Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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