two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
