you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
