I am puke
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
