I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
