I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
