I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
