Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize