She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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