he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
