I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
