Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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