Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
