Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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