Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
