everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
