So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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