I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
