Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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