if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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